Yesterday I sat and made a list of all of the classic hostel moments Clare and I have lived through. This particular list was over 40 entries long, obviously I am not going to be retelling all of them (you're welcome Clare), especially as some you really had to have been there or met the people involved. So here is a small selection of the best of the rest.
1. “Crazy Naked English Guy;”
Fairly self explanatory and pretty much what it says on the tin; this guy was first about in February. He had overstayed his VISA and was expecting the hostel staff to sort out his problem, (obviously this is not possible or my life last year would have been so much easier,) so instead he stood at the reception desk yelling, complaining and swearing about how terrible and barbaric the country was, and how it was no wonder China had not taken over the world. Things became a little tense here! This continued for several hours and again over the next few days and to make matters worse this guy would corner you and rant at you about his VISA issues. A guy that no amount of turning backs on and blatant ignoring would work with; we even tried the “excuse me while I blot you out” tactic but to no avail. As well as being really annoying and hugely rude this guy was a double threat. He walked about the hostel NAKED. First thing in the morning, as I was on my way to the bathroom, out of 2 rooms down would appear this big belly, then a few minutes later the rest of the naked English bulk. Fortunately the belly droop covered a large percentage of the offending parts but the back end. *shudder* a large hairy white arse plodding its way down the corridor in front of you is not what anyone wants to see first thing in the morning, or ever actually. Rafer can confirm that it was truly horrendous! Several times too we heard yelling “f*cking monkeys, stop it get out of my room you barbarians” as the cleaning ladies were fighting their way into his 4 person dorm room to empty the bins. Our first real nasty hostel-mate.
Sadly a few short recovery weeks later we had our saecond.
2. “Old Frat House Guy.”
Sat one weekend morning in the bar minding our own buisness, when in rolled this suspiciously troublesome-looking-American, our worst fears were confirmed when a very loud “Ni-F*cking-Hao” was yelled into the bar. Several shoulders drooped as reality sunk in ‘this guy was staying here, in this hostel, with us!’ We could have put up, or even joined in, with his party frat house mentality if he wasn’t well into his late thirties (possibly early 40's) or it wasn’t half ten in the morning. Some prat yelling over the microphone “this one goes out to all the teachers in the room” and then singing some terrible rap song is not what you want at breakfast time. Believe me! Evenings fine, but breakfast; is just unforgivable!
Regardless, both of the pain in the butt/annoying men have given us some great stories to pass on when confronted with “what is your worst experience/worst part of living in a hostel?”
A surprising amount of people look at our [Clare and mine] extended stay in a hostel as a medal worthy achievement, whereas the rest look horrified and ask you what’s wrong with you. The later we don’t pay much attention to and the former we willingly entertain for hours on end with many of the stories that are now being told in these weekly instalments of “Classic Hostel Moments.”Next week ‘The Gay Bar Experience’ and 'Crack Man'
(Classic Hostel Moments will continue until either I run out of stories or enthusiasm)
Our room--------->>>
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